iwishihad comment on internet pornography

Young Tim (7 y-o) (YT): Dad, can I surf the Net on the G4?

Dad: O-K but watch out for the porno sites, won't you?

YT: O-K. Them's the ones with the ladies with the big nungas, like mum's, aren't they? (cut to Dad nodding, smiling.)

Cut to G4 screen. Dialer clicked. Sound effects: "dialer, Boing-Boing, shhhhhhhh, quiet". Nice 'Children's Site' rolls down. Click randomly on site. Click to Advertisement at top. Bird with big nungas. Newscreen. Clearly advertising FREE PORN: Enter clicked. Next G4 screen sexual humping. Noise-over of "Yes! Yes! Oooh! Ahh!" Bed clearly moving up and down.

YT: Dad, what are these people doing?

Dad (Coming to look): That's a porno site Tim, better go somewhere else.

YT: Why's it a porno site dad?

Dad: There's a man and a woman having sex. They're not supposed to show it on the Net.

YT: They're making noises and moving up and down just like you and mummy do in your bedroom. Are you having porno then?

Dad: Hmm. Not really. We are having sex, not porno. We have sex to show we love one another. Sex is nice but only daddies and mummies are supposed to do it.

YT: So these people aren't daddies and mummies, so they're having porno not sex when they jump up and down and make noises?

Dad: S'pose you could say that.

YT: It's boring. (Cut to: G4 Screen. Click to new site. Childlike site.)

Later that night. YT and Dad sit watching TV.

Cut to TV screen. Hankook tyre ad: Tyre wheel. Front fender of car.
- V-O: "the silicon of Hankook tyres increases performance."
- V-O. "Ooh! Ahh!" Car fender moves vertically up and down.
Cut to YT, he changes channel with remote.

DAD: Why'd you change channels?

YT: The people in the car were having porno, so it's not nice to watch. (Cut to: Dad smiling.)

Cut to TV screen. Jeans ad. Scantilly-clad females gyrating.Shots of males obviously 'interested'.
- V-O. "You can get It, if you REALLY want It." Repeat, many, many times, emphasis on "IT".
Cut to YT, he changes channel with remote.

DAD: Why'd you change channels?

YT: Those people were getting ready to have porno. I seen a porno site just like that. It started nice and singy, just like Hi-Five, and then they all took off their clothes and started having porno. So, it's not nice to watch. (Cut to: Dad smiling.)

Cut to TV screen. Another ad. Man sits opposite woman in restaurant. Woman eating stick of celery in erotic fashion. Man getting 'hot'. Woman increases sensuality with celery stick in her mouth then bites celery stick. Man clutches off-screen groin area. Grimaces.
Cut to YT, he changes channel with remote.

DAD: Why'd you change channels?

YT: Those people were getting ready to have porno. I seen a porno site just like that. The lady had the man's willy in her mouth but I didn't know she was gonna bite it off or I would have waited to see what he did then. So, it's not nice to watch. (Cut to: Dad smiling.)

Cut to TV screen. Another ad. Advertising video phones. Simple cartoonish. Woman gets new video phone. Man perceived to be arriving with gifts. Woman exits doorway, her bra and dress seen to fly back into view. "Click!" Man with gifts gets ringtone, takes out video phone. Man's eyes pop-out and he drops gifts, running OOV.
Cut to YT, he changes channel with remote.

DAD: Why'd you change channels?

YT: Those people are doing porno. I seen pictures on the net that someone took with one of them 'phones. It showed their privates. That's against the "Privates" law, isn't it dad? (Cut to: Dad smiling.)

Dad: Think you got it wrong, Tim. Not the bit about the video phone use. Yes, it can be used by some people for porno stuff, but the worry is people's 'Privacy,' not "Privates."

YT: I still don't like it. (Cut to: Dad smiling.)

DAD: Tim, you seem to be handling this porno stuff o-k. Why don't you go and surf on the G4 and let me watch T-V.

YT: O-K, dad.

YT Exits LOV. Cut to dad, shaking head, pensively. Dad VO: "Getting by the 'observation' stage. What to do when the testosterone starts and his little, "I" takes over may prove problematic!".

END

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