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TO 'SPOOF' OR NOT TO 'SPOOF' -- Only God in his Heaven may do this?:

Sunday, April 28, 2002:

iwishihad comments about the 'evil', APPLE MacIntosh:

It appears that the computer system iwishihad has been using for the past decade, or more, is based on the evil DARWIN OS! Mea Culpa, iwishihad did not realise this. Maybe the authors of the below diatribe should have investigated the Linux successor, Jesux, rather than pick on the Mac?

iwishihad intends no offence be taken in reading this review. None is intentional.

Originally this diatribe, thought to be an amusing 'spoof', appeared, died and was removed. The reason given being that multitudes of Mac advocates flooded the site. The source url appears to be now dead (see below). The author(s) being 'objective'? They certainly appear to be ardent and incapable of 'spoofing' anyone excepting themselves! Initially they appear to have a vendetta against the Landover Baptist Church (LBC) HERE. The LBC is definitely a 'spoof' site -- their small-print gives this away! So, why all the fuss?

It would appear the author(s) have lost the confidence of their (apparently) 'CHRISTIAN' isp as below indicates:

BREAKING NEWS: We have been getting too much traffic due to iRate, Macintosh-using Atheists and Pagans trying to access our site. If you are not Christian, please refrain from viewing these pages. According to our host, Truepath.com, if the traffic persists we will have to close the site. If you wish to help, our email is: (deleted by iwishihad, an Atheistic, Pagan, Mac-user in true Christian fellowship)

iwishihad wishes it had the original 'not-a-spoof-could-be-a-spoof' diatribe document, but it has gone, destroyed, alas. So all iwishihad can do is summarise the main points remembered and try to dig-up images as near-to as original as possible within this truly objective summary of a possible true attack on FREEDOM:

The Title: OBJECTIVE: Creation Education (by one Dr Richard Paley, a teacher of Divinity & Theobiology at Fellowship University)

Dr Paley commenced with the OBJECTIVE: Creation Education Article, Evolutionism Propaganda:

He reports the subject of Evolutionism's use of propaganda is to spread its false doctrines is a broad one. That Evolutionists resort to propaganda is just evidence that they have no honest arguments in favor of their position. He discusses some prominent and current instances of Evolutionism propaganda: The PBS's series Evolution, the use of subliminal Evolutionism, and Evolutionism's place in the computing industry.

Ignoring the PBS revolution let's see what he had to say about Subliminal Propaganda:

He believes Pokemon's pro-Darwinism propaganda is inescapably chained to Evolutionism, stating that evolutionism propagandists often times try to sneak their false doctrine into popular culture via oblique references whose constant reiteration is designed to inculcate acceptance of their unacceptable message. He believes shows like Pokemon, which features animals "evolving" into new forms provide a continuous cultural fog of Evolutionism that is impossible for innocent children to escape from.
iwishihad fails to see how a child, still immersed in eliminating its Bicameral state, creating the left-lobe metaphor of its future, reflective 'I' consciousness space can conceive of Pokemon evolving into anything.

poor ole Pokemon, chained so it cannot evolve

The good Doctor then really gets going! Perhaps the Mac's 'friend' Bill, put him up to it? It certainly is a wonderful ejaculation from the left-lobe!

Somehow, the Apple MacIntosh receives the good Docs 'objectivity'. He believes the iMac case to hypnotically trick unsuspecting computer users into accepting Darwinism! Yea, Steve, put a notice on the Mac : 'May contain User-Fiendly Darwinistic Software'!

Doc explains more. -- The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (MacOS X) is called... Darwin! Yukky-Boo!!!

He adds that while Apple currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans, (95% worshipping Bill?)

holographic iMac is difficult to use

Apple's new holographic iMac is difficult to use.

(iwishihad, having returned from sacrificing 2 G3's, 1 iMac and a PowerBook to the Bicameral Goddess Juno continues the review:) Doc has a furthermore: he knows the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism, hidden under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons. ("lickable"?? Is this a Freudian, sexually repressed slip of Doc's tongue? Where will it enter NEXT?)

Then 'The Truth' ----: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism. (Wot about 'Bicameralism', Doc? Never 'erd of that wun 'ave yer?)

He then palliates with this isn't really a shock, is it and goes into how the Mac evolved. Founded by long haired hippies, (you forgot, Doc, 'Working out of a small garage, almost cent-less', didn't'cha?), this company has consistently supported 60's counter-cultural "values" (like selling G4's to the Military, eh? Doc?) Doc then really imagines: there are even darker undertones to this company than most are aware of. Doc sees something in Apple's logo: an apple with a bite taken out of it. He clearly sees a reference to the Fall, when Adam and Eve were tempted with an apple by the serpent. He deduces that now Apple Computers is offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness. What a wonderful piece of left-lobe creativity! (Mind you, Doc, it is alleged that it is easier to have sex on an iMac than a Dell or any of the 'other' non 'rounded' machines!)

Doc deduces that Apple is well known for its cult-like following. He considers co-founder and leader Steve Jobs' constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should "think different". He asks us: "think different than whom or what?" The answer disturbs the good Doc. Apple want us to think different than our Christian upbringing, to reject all the values that we have been taught and to heed not the message of the Lord Jesus Christ! Come, come, Doc. The Mac startup chime has the same frequency spectra as the bell-ringing of High Mass. Doesn't it? It confirms, 'booting' and eliminates the '?'. (flashing only in Netscape?)

Doc believes the anti-Christian and cultish nature of Apple Computers makes them decide to base their newest operating system on Darwinism reaffirming the position that Darwinism is an inherently anti-Christian philosophy and not a science.

He then grabs poor ole 'Hexley', accusing that it's a Satanic, unevolvable chimera compelling you to submit to Darwinism!

Doc forgets to add: "Hexley DarwinOS Mascot Copyright 2000 by Jon Hooper. All Rights Reserved." The attribute required to use this 'chimera', (he calls this 'evil' logo.) It's -- a platypus dressed as a devil who performs occult magic, i.e. hexes. Doc adds they're not doing a very good job keeping their ties to the forces of darkness a secret, are they? Wait until the good Doc discovers that 'C Programmers' terminate with the letter 'O'. (And then correlates this with a female orgasm --- 'Oh, Oh, Oh! Successfully terminated? But then, he probably turns off the light and uses ear-plugs when, and if, engaging in this natural occurrence.)

Doc isn't finished here. He adds 'addenda'. Getting stuck into Richard Dawkins (iwishihad thought this bloke wandered around in a wheelchair getting Nobel prizes for physics?) Doc accuses this Atheist and anti-Christian fella of comparing religion to a virus, AND has used Apple's Macintosh computers since they were introduced. Doc left-lobes an 'In fact': his infamous anti-Creation polemic The Blind Watchmaker relied heavily on an argument based on software that he wrote using a Mac. He purported to have proved Evolutionism by making his Macintosh draw little squiggles -- or "biomorphs". He accuses Dawkins of showing us how to turn a cross into a swastika using Evolutionism. iwishihad thinks the swastika predates the cross. It's much more fun for the likes of Doc to crucify non-believers on a swastika woden cross. Some 'things' have to be broken before the tying or nailing, nescepa?

Doc's next left-lobe gambit is a bit confusing. It goes on hating the bloke Dawkins and seems to 'prove' Dawkins (blind?) eventually typed the following on a Mac:

dawkins writes

Doc at least honours the GIF thus: Illustration from the 1996 edition of The Blind Watchmaker.

Then Doc accuses poor old Dawkins of commiting the cardinal sin in Gates Land of advocating the reader to switch from IBM compatible computers to Macintoshes, saying that "you can exult in something of the feeling of liberation that may have attended evolution's great watershed events." Adding a final comment that the problem is much worse than we had originally thought as Apple has been aiding and abetting ardent Evolutionists like Dawkins since at least the mid 1980's.

Not happy with coring Apple, Doc then addenda-wise gets stuck into Unix. Presumably the penguin offends as well. The Darwin OS is not the original creation of Apple Computers but is instead based on an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix". The mascot of this OS is a devil holding a pitchfork:unix daemon?

Doc reports that this OS -- and its Darwin offspring -- extensively use what are called "daemons" (which is how Pagans write "demon" -- they are notoriously poor spellers: magick, vampyre, etc.) which is a program that hides in the background, doing things without the user's notice.

But then, Doc gives something away. He knows that a Macintosh running OS X has these "daemons", adding, hardly something a good Christian would want! He concludes that this clearly illustrates that not only is Macintosh based on Darwinism, but Darwinism is based on Satanism.

Doc's last addendum concerns more clues showing the dark nature of Apple Computers. He cites the new MacOS X to contain another Satanic holdover from the "BSD Unix" OS mentioned above; to open up certain locked files one has to run a program much like the DOS prompt in Microsoft Windows and type in a secret code: "chmod 666". What other horrors lurk in this thing?

In closing, iwishihad likes some of Doc's 'Footnotes'. Perhaps better named 'Cloven-hoof-notes?'

This one is the best. It should be viewed by all 'Satanic' Mac users, giving homage to their evil Mac creator. A pilgrimage to that 'Holy of Holies', the place where it first begot. To quote:

"The first personal computer sold by Apple was priced by Steve Jobs and his hippy friend Steve Wozniak at $666. Here is an image of an ad showing the price from the October 1976 issue of Interface Age magazine. "

iwishihad would add that, if this is a spoof the review has been interesting. If not a spoof then likewise, but it's advisable when visiting a 'Doc' like the one who wrote this, not to tell him one is a Mac user, especially if this Doc holds one's testicles and requests one to 'cough', just in case he ensures his 'way', -- your personal 'evolution' comes to an end!

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